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Play in Your Marriage!

Holiday Gift #5! Start a New Mindfulness Practice

12/21/2020

Start a new Mindfulness Practice. No time?

Guess what? You can do ANYthing mindfully by simply witnessing your activity with purpose.

Or you can soothe your nervous system by
blinking your eyes very slowly or humming. These fast and simple methods will surprise and delight you!

My favorite is a heart-focused breathing exercise
you can learn to do in less than a minute. It's easy
AND, it's cumulative!
Simply slow your breathing down (you have
to breathe anyway, don't you?) which brings
your attention out of the hurtful past or scary
future and smack into the Present!

Everything is usually OKAY in this very present
moment, right now.
Try putting your hand to your heart to make it
even easier to focus your attention in your heart.
(As if you are breathing (slowly) in and out of
your heart).
Now you can add in any positive emotion you
like: compassion, love, care, ease, appreciation,
gratitude, etc.

If you think this is woo-woo, you can find over 300
scientific articles on the Institute of Heartmath.org
website to back up it's effectiveness.

I recommend you use this before, during, and
after ALL interactions you have with your
spouse. It will help you stay out of your old
negative behavior patterns that have hurt your
marriage. You will become more loving and thus
more attractive to them AND, more important,
to yourself!
Consider who you want to be as a person. What
is most important about you? What do you value
most about who you are as a human? What small
improvement can you make in your day to be just
a wee bit more of that?
Make THIS the holiday season you embarked on
becoming more of who you really want to BE.
There is no greater gift you can give to yourself,
your family, your community or the world.
Blessings of Well Being!,
Nina
https://PlayInYourMarriage.com

Nina Potter has dedicated her Coaching life
to service and the study of how to create
healthy relationships. She mentors clients to
become happy with their lives (no matter
what their spouse is doing) to restore their
marriage and family to better condition than
they have ever been. She can work with you
Internationally by phone, WhatsApp, Zoom or
Skype

Schedule a complimentary Marriage Rescue
Consultation here:
https://meetme.so/ninapotter

Holiday Gift #4 Focus on Your Process, Not Your Outcome

12/16/2020

Focus on Your Process (in other words the daily or moment-by-moment actions you are taking), not on the Outcome (what your spouse is going to end up doing) that you have no control over.

Think of your life purpose right now as showing up in your life as the Divine, to bringing love to whatever shituation you are in at this moment.

Your spouse may be asking for space and time
where patience is in order for them to find their
way through whatever internal crisis is causing
them to lose touch with their core values.

When you focus on the Outcome of what YOU
want, they will feel the pressure and will likely
rebel or push back against it.

By focusing on your own internal needs and
external actions, you give them the energetic
space they are asking for and will be better
able to respond to them in a loving way.

Check back here for Gift #5!

Holiday gift #3 Create NEW Fun Traditions

12/15/2020

Create NEW Fun Traditions for yourself and any family, friends, neighbors or co-workers you can safely gather.

Before you say you can't think of any, ASK!

Ask everyone you know by making conversation with them. Have the kids ask their friends and classmates. Collect as many ideas as you can (while enriching your social connections in the process :-).

Add a few of these NEW ways to celebrate to
have something to look forward to.

You could make it a new tradition to experiment
with a few of the new ideas on the list every year.

This creative process will spark life in you and
will inspire you in other areas of your life too.
You will again be flowing more love and
therefore you will be happier and thus more
attractive.

If there is something you can invite your spouse
to tag along with, even better! (just don't be
attached to them saying yes, this is YOUR new
tradition).

If you want more help right away, check out
the resources page or schedule a 25 min.
complimentary Marriage Rescue Consultation
at https://meetme.so/ninapotter

Holiday Gift #2 How To Flow Love

12/14/2020

Practice Self-Compassion and then MAKE, not find, time for yourself for something you love.

Your better attitude will uplift all who come in contact with you.

Okay, if you REALLY have boxed yourself into a corner and have NO time, then do what I did and find yourself a really cute reminder to FLOW your own LOVE.

(I bought a stuffed dog toy called FLEA
that has a face like the Muppet Gonzo
and has 6 legs. He's adorable!)

Go find some really cute pictures of your
kids or your pet or best friends or a beloved
piece of art or anything that reminds you
to Flow your inner Love when you look at it.

This you have control of and it can help uplift
you at any time you remember it.

Check back in for Gift #3!

5 Gifts to Win Back Love For The Holidays

12/13/2020

So your spouse has or is threatening
to leave?
Ouch!

The Holidays are here, and you're in the
middle of a pandemic and life is uncertain
already without this marriage crisis?
Triple Ouch!

There IS hope for your broken heart and
there IS a way back to love... even if your
spouse doesn't want to participate.

Here is the first of 5 gifts to get you started
on your way back to creating a BETTER marriage
than you've ever had prompted by the Holidays.

Let's start with some good news...
LOVE comes from WITHIN you, not from out
there, including from that person you married
but may no longer recognize.

You, My Dear One, are capable of experiencing
all of the love you need if you simply stop pinching
off the flow within you. (One of the reasons they
may be turning away from your marriage).

What do I mean? Think of when children are
playing at something they love doing. Something
they feel they are capable of...
They Overflow LOVE!
They aren't selfish or bullying or acting out, they
are LOVING and they are IRRESISTIBLE!

Now contrast that with when they are needy:
Mooooom! Daaaaad! Their love is pinched off
and as much as you love them, wouldn't you
really rather they go find something to do in
their room? (If you don't have kids of your own,
you have witnessed a kid pulling on the leg of
their obviously annoyed parent).

The Irresistible version is the one YOU need to
be during this time of stress and heartbreak.

Holiday Gift 1:
Acknowledge & Accept this holiday
season is just going to be different. When
you resist and rail against what is, it tends to
grow stronger. When you say YES...AND...
You can decide to make it new and available
for discovery!

This is how Improv Theater works. The Actors
never know what their scene partners are
going to give them so the rule is to
Yes!... And...
then add the next line. Incredible things unfold
and are discovered with this attitude.

It's human nature to not want change. So
look at it as Growth or better yet, Adventure!

Since the ONLY thing that doesn't change is
the fact that everything changes (and resistance
is futile), you are better off flowing with what is
and then take the action that will make the very
best of it.

Come back tomorrow for Holiday Gift #2
to Win Back Love!

If you want more help right away, check out
the resources page or schedule a 25 min.
complimentary Marriage Rescue Consultation
at https://meetme.so/ninapotter

Looking for "Heartunities"!

8/28/2020

Hello Dear One,
Did you know that when you Bless
someone, you are receiving the
Blessing yourself?

When you send someone wishes for
Love, Peace, Patience, Prosperity, or
any other Blessing, you have to FEEL
it in order to know it is what you want
to send them.

As you FEEL it, you also receive it just
like the person you are sending it to.
I call those opportunities to send a
Blessing "Heartunities".

We all need a whole lot more of those
Blessings in these stress inducing times.
So look for Heartunities to send Blessings
to yourself, your mate, your kids, your
family, friends and neighbors, your
co-workers and suppliers and customers,
service providers and everyone you
see contributing to our humanity.

Yes, you can send Blessings to your
pets, food, and wildlife too.

Challenge yourself to find as many
Heartunities as you can today and
notice how you feel. Notice how 'they'
respond to you when you feel that
flow of love.

Enjoy the process and know that
I (Heart) You!
Nina

If you want to learn more about
giving blessings to all you love,
send me a note at
nina(at)ninapottercoach.com

Make EVERY Day Valentine's Day!

2/14/2020

Here is a short video I made to encourage your participation in LOVE!

Love Ministry Begins Here Today

5/29/2019

Dear One,
It is time I began my love ministry.
It is so painfully obvious to me that Love,
indeed IS the only answer to our big, nasty
mess in the world. Most of us do not have
the training we need in Love. We have
parents, ministers, teachers and leaders
that do not understand Love. But we know
it when we are in the presence of it.

We consult our egos before, during, and
after our interactions with others, our daily
decisions, and our major plans. But we are
missing the point in so many ways. I plan
to write here in these pages my awareness
of how and where love works and where it's
absence hurts us even when we aren't
aware of it directly.

I see in every day behaviors my own lack
of love and hope that in exploring it more
in depth I can begin to make better, more
loving choices, choosing Heaven on Earth,
with my beloved brothers and sisters (and
that means my entire family, friends,
neighbors, and world at large).

If you don't think the world matters to you,
take a look in your closet or pantry. There
are things you have in your home that have
come from so far away... shipped all the way
here on a tanker.

Someone designed, grew, assembled, picked,
packaged, sold, transported, stocked, unpacked,
accounted for, or managed those who did in
unimagined numbers. We truly are all connected
in ways we don't stop to consider.

If you live off the land in the woods off the grid
then you are still affected by every bit of
pollution, waste, and material use in the breath
you take. (Plastic fibers are in the air every
where and global climate change is happening
each and every day somewhere in the world).

I had been feeling hopeless, despairing of any
way to stop this global egoic madness but now
realize it is my call to ask for each and every
one of us to start living from Love instead of
Egoic Fear. Love for ourselves, for each
other, for our precious home Earth, because
it ALL comes back to us eventually.

Our choice to choose Love over Selfish Ego
fears (a fountain of self-fulfilling prophesy)
is the answer to ALL of the world's issues.
Are they complex and messy and inter-
related in ways we cannot untangle? Of
course! They have had aeons to develop.

But we don't have aeons to turn them
around. The time for Love is now and I
plan to start a daily mindfulness about
how and where love can prevail as a
better choice.

Starting today, now, I decided to NOT
do any of the other important (and not
so important) tasks that are constanly
pulling at me and I chose to start my
Love Ministry. Here and Now. With
this first choice.

Thank You for participating at any
level you can. With a prayer, a
blessing, a kindness shown ANY
person or animal or the Earth. I
plan to start asking myself with
each choice I am making, "Is this
TRULY good for me in the long term?
as well as good for the entire world
long term?"

We cannot make more loving
choices and decisions and actions
without questioning them first.

It's the start of a New Way Of Life
for ALL of us, Please join me here
and let's make it happen together,

Blessings to Us All,
Nina

Why Do Holidays Have to Be So Hard?

12/23/2018

Dear One,
What is it about Holidays that makes anything
unfortunate in someone's life seem so much
worse? People give more to charities at Holidays
because for some reason, being homeless,
hungry or sick seems that much worse at this
time of year.

At some level, it does seem worse because if you
are in a geographic location that is Dark, it can
seriously affect your biology. But apart from that,
is there really a Worse time to get sick, lose your
job or home, or to have your spouse leave you?

I used to blame my spouse for leaving me right
before Christmas but with time and distance and
wisdom, I realize heartbreak is heartbreak and it
wasn't any worse than any other time of year,
other than I told myself that. (And I got to be a
big victim – Yuck!)

WE give events the meaning they have for us!
That is why they are special to us and not to others.
Some people love solstices, or Halloween, or
Homecoming, or Birthdays and others are
completely indifferent about them.

My Father seems to detest Christmas (PTS from
WWII spent in a foxhole with other kids whose
prayers for life were not seemingly answered),
his sister loved it (she loved to shop and give gifts
all year), my Mother dreaded it I think (her favorite
day of the year is the day AFTER and her favorite
Christmas was the one she stayed home alone with
the flu in quiet contemplation with the Lord)

My sister and I love Birthdays, my brothers ignore
or are indifferent to them. and my Beloved seems
to like ALL Holidays and Birthdays and any
opportunity to party and be with his family.

Each of us has a different meaning we give them
based on what we tell ourselves about them. I like
Birthdays because it is an opportunity to celebrate
someone just for their existence AND that can be
done any (or every) day of the year.

When I met Mike he introduced me to the concept
"Make Every Day Earth Day" and I liked that
sentiment (and live it) so much I adopted it for
relationships... "Make Every Day Valentin's Day"
and I think it translates well to the meanings we
give our Holidays.

When we make every day Holy, and we treat each
other as if they matter and we share our love and
acceptance freely, we can let go of the idea that any
particular day on a calendar has be to worse than
any other day for life to happen on. And when we
make every day Holy, with love in our hearts,
nothing can be as bad as it is it when we don't.

If you think making every day a Holiday will take
the specialness out of any given day, you haven't
tried it. I just spent this morning in bed reading
fiction and it was spectacular. It isn't what you DO,
but the attitude and meaning you bring to it.

Just try it, starting now. Think of THIS DAY, TODAY
as a special day worthy of your love and presence.
Then Enjoy the sh*t out of it, meaning look for
every opportunity to Bless yourself and the World.

Happy Being Alive Today!
Nina

If you need help getting through the Holidays
and recovering your Love Life, contact me for
a complimentary "Bridge Over Troubled
Waters" coaching session by emailing to
ninapottercoach(at)gmail.com or you can
schedule it here:
http://meetme.so/ninapotter

We're All In This Together and I'm Responsible

5/28/2018

Dear One,

It is my second favorite Paradox for creating a happy, healthy world for all. (My first is "Everything is Perfect As It IS, and There is Always Room for Improvement").

I read this today from Terry Patton, one of my favorite Integral Thinkers:

"Only human beings can protect and defend the future of life on Earth from human beings. It will take conscious individuals making deliberate choices based on the best information available — people presuming responsibility to make a difference. Nothing could be more honorable and worthwhile" ... Terry Patton.

This is how I feel about Marriage, Parenting, Neighboring, Co-Working,
"Citizening" (my made up term for how we show up in society), and LIVING as a human BEing day to day. Like everyone I know, I am really good at the human DOing thing, but when I am acting from there, I tend to forget about my impact on everyone and everything else.

So how then do we approach our personal responsibility in the whole scheme of our surrounding breaking marriages, breaking families, breaking workplaces, breaking society and breaking planet?

It starts by mending our breaking HEARTS and Connecting with our Higher Self.

Where do we start? I propose with our breath, our very life force. By practicing Heart-Focused Breathing:

B reathe
R hythmically and
E venly
A nd
T hrough the
H eart with Positive
E motion

This makes it so much easier to connect with your Higher Self, the part of you that will make better, more intuitive decisions about everything you do. It will make it SO much easier to Respond with Love rather than react from fear when you interact with others. Heck, it will make it easier on Your Self to do this, as you will feel more connected and loving toward You.

I am taking this Holy-Day of Memorial Day to reboot my internal operating system to Breathe and Connect with Source more often about everything I can think of... so that I can be more Personally Responsible for every decision I make that affects my Mate, my Family, my Neighborhood, Community, and Planet ... because We're all in this Together.

The individual decisions I make joins the collective and affect you and everyone else just as much as the decisions you make join the collective and affect me and everyone else.

Contrary to being a "dog eat dog" world (which in the end is unsustainable because the last dog standing will starve!) , it's more like a "rising tide floating all boats" kind of world.

So It all comes down to each of us being personally responsible for making decisions that are good for ALL, since we are All in this Together.

Remember; What We Experience Today is DIRECTLY a result of those who went before us and the collection of individual decisions each of them made.

How Do You Choose?,
Nina

Questions? Comments? Feel free to write them in here OR
drop me an email at Nina(at)NinaPotterCoach.com
Love to hear from you!