You will find the quality of your experience of life will increase when you ask yourself the right questions.
How do you know what the RIGHT questions are?
Start by noticing how they make you FEEL. If they make you very happy, you are likely on the right track. If they make you squirm, then you are ALSO on the right track! How so, you might ask?
If a question makes you THINK more consciously about what you are doing or who you are being, then you are on the right track. Some examples: “Does this feed my soul?”, “Does this action or decision reflect who I really want to BE?”, or “Will this help me achieve what I am working toward?”
With your Sweetie, having a common vision for how you want your relationship to be is critical. You need that vision to measure your behaviors and choices against. You want to be able to ask yourself “Does this action SUPPORT our vision, or does this tear it down or diminish it?” Going back to yesterday’s post, you may want to ask yourself if your BELIEFS are supporting your common vision or tearing it down.
What kinds of questions to you ask yourself about your partner? About yourself? Take some time to write down those internal questions to see what kinds of responses your mind might give you.
Your mind loves to answer questions and solve problems. Think of it like a complex search engine. When you put a question into the Google search bar, how many PAGES of responses do you get back? Well how many pages do you want back if you ask yourself something negative like “Why can’t I find love?”, "Why can't he or she do what I want?" or “Why can’t I get a job I like?”
Try this instead: “Why am I so lovable?”, “Why might this person be perfect for me?”, "What might be important to my partner that I am not getting?" or “What am I learning from this job that can HELP me move forward?”. Now your mind will come back with 100 pages of really good thoughts that will start to change those underlying beliefs.
Start playing with a more consciously positive search. See what kinds of questions you can find that support you and your relationship. Make it fun. Challenge yourself and your Sweetie to come up with 5 better questions for every question that brings you down.
Be Happy Where You Are and Bring THAT to Where You Want to Be,