The greatest gift you can give your loved ones and
yourself (and world at large if that is important to
you), is the gift of Self Love and Acceptance.
I am not talking about a narcissistic or self-obsessive
disregard for others, but rather a genuine, filled
up okayness that allows you to SHARE the love you
feel rather than try to Get something from another.
I discovered a beautiful and EFFECTIVE little
exercise from Dr. Keith Witt while listening to his
monthly podcast with Jeff Salzman. The link to the
whole discussion follows but let me share Dr. Keith's
wonderfully simple exercise here first:
HOW to develop Self Love and Acceptance:
1) While focusing on the sensations in your chest,
ask yourself this question "At this moment, am I
willing to love and accept myself no matter what?"
2) If you feel a pleasurable relaxation in your chest,
the answer is probably "Yes" so enjoy this moment of
3) If you feel an uncomfortable tightening or
constriction in your chest area when you ask that
question the answer is probably "No, at this moment
I am not willing to love and accept myself no matter
4) If your answer is "No", ask yourself "Why Not?"
and answer the questions of why you are not willing
to love and accept yourself at this moment no matter
The answer need not be at all rational. It could be
"Because I don't deserve it", or "Because I don't
know how", or "Because I'm not a good person", or
"Because [insert Name here] doesn't love me", or
"Because I eat too much".
Don't dispute or indulge the answer, just observe
it with interest. (It is, after all, only a part
of you or something in you that believes this).
4) After you answer the "Why Not?" question, ask
yourself again "At this moment am I willing to love
and accept myself no matter what?" and observe any
shifts or changes in the feeling in your chest.
5) Dr. Keith Witt recommends you practice this
sequence 5 times per day for a month. Notice your
chest loosening after you answer your "Why Not?"
Over time you will find yourself answering "Yes"
more frequently and loving and accepting yourself
mo matter what will grow your capacity for self-love.
If you want to learn more about the background of
why this works and enjoy a spirited conversation
between the amazing, highly evolved Dr. Keith Witt
and Jeff Salzman go here:
You may have to copy and paste that URL into your
browser if clicking on it doesn't open it.
I cannot think of a better Solstice Love gift than
How to love and accept yourself no matter what!
Go write it on a sticky note and paste it on your
bathroom mirror or make it a screen saver on your
phone or whatever will remind you to ask yourself.
In Love and LIGHT on this special day (today only
happens once in a lifetime),
P.S. For more lessons and learnings and exercises
to boost your love life, contact me for a complimentary
Relationship Rescue session at ninapottercoach(at) gmail.com