Learning to love your partner is like learning a foreign language.
When you speak it often in practice, it flows from you naturally and you begin to think and dream in it. When you know your love’s particular love language (ala Gary Chapman in “The 5 Love Languages) and you practice it, your partner EXPERIENCES your love more.
If, on the other hand (and I’m not talking about sign language here), you let this language go unused and unpracticed, you start to lose it. You lose both the love YOU feel for your partner and you lose the appreciation and gratitude they once felt for you.
If you are not feeling the warmth and appreciation you once felt for your loved one, try consciously choosing to do something nice for them (preferably in THEIR love language). You will be pleasantly surprised at how you feel a surge of warmth created within you as you anticipate their delight. You will find yourself feeling more love internally and you will want to share it.
I think of the French movie Amelie where she discovers joy in doing kind things for people anonymously. She hides and watches to see their pleasure and she gets as much or more joy from the experience as they do. If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend it for both inspiration and entertainment as it is quite funny.
Go Do Something Nice for Someone You Love,