Sometimes we annoy our partner, our children, our family and/or our friends.
I could argue that we even annoy ourselves (like when I kept doing other things instead of writing a post here :-).
Last week I was feeling very down about myself, thinking about how annoying I am to my beloved mate, my sister, my friends and how I JUST AM annoying as a person. "How can I continue in these relationships when I am annoying the very people I love the most?", I pondered in my bummed out state.
It should be noted here that while we personally may be fairly highly evolved emotionally, there are other factors that come to play and can cause a "perfect storm" of ill will toward ourselves. Biorhythms, Hormonal Cycles, Nutrition and Sleep, and then there are Collective Energies as well (Eckhart Tolle would call it the Collective Pain Body).
So I sought out my beloved "annoyee" and he reassured me that "of course I was annoying and that did not make me any less lovable" or something like that. I have no idea what he actually DID say because I was in a funk and I was only going to hear what I was willing to hear, even if I had to make it up. Do you ever do that? Does your beloved ever do that?
I shook it off and focused on sharing the love I have for him and mostly forgot about it. Until this morning. On my HeartStart call with the Amazing Sheva Carr from the HeartMastery program at HeartMath. She had us breathing Ease and Balance and Self Care in and out of our hearts while thinking about our growth edge at the moment.
During that practice I was reflecting on some of my most cherished loved ones, and I recalled having felt some shame for how I had been annoyed with them a few weeks earlier. Suddenly I made the connection. I was annoyed with these people I dearly loved and it had nothing to do with THEM. It was not they who were being annoying, but rather ME who was being annoyed. Then I felt bad for judging them.
No wonder then, that I found myself judging myself as annoying a week later. I had not made the connection between me feeling bad about the judgement when it was about THEM. I simply believed there was something wrong with me and I was unlovable.
How freeing in that moment when I realized that my being annoying had more to do with THEM than it did with me. I can still strive to be loving in every interaction, and I do, and I fail to do it consistently. But in failing, I am not unworthy of love and I am not an ANNOYING PERSON. I may do things that are annoying to someone else but that is their judgement and has more to do with them than it does me, just like when I am judging others.
I asked my heart for a Replacement Attitude in that moment of enlightenment and was given the most beautiful gift of "I'm Enough". Who couldn't use an attitude replacement like that?
Next time you find yourself in a funk about who you are, try breathing Ease, Balance, and Self Care into and out of your heart until you feel calmer and then ask your heart for an Attitude Replacement. Notice how the rest of your day goes and how differently people relate to you now and...
P.S. If you want personal one to one help for your self or your relationship, contact me for a complimentary "More Love Now" coaching session by calling 651-214-6803 or email ninapottercoach(at)gmail.com. You can schedule a session directly at http://meetme.so/ninapotter. For a free 5 part e-course on Getting The Love You Need, go to http://PlayInYourMarriage.com