One of the biggest barriers to emotional connection and intimacy is negativity. Whether that takes the form of criticism or complaining, it is never welcomed with an open heart unless your partner is a Saint. And they may just be one! If they are, you probably would not have found your way to this blog site.
Your negativity doesn’t even have to be directed at them. If it is coming off of you, it is unpleasant. Your negativity may even be directed at yourself. Even this is hard for someone who loves you to take if it is persistent.
So how do you shut off the negativity spigot? You go on a negativity fast. This means you start to censor yourself before spouting off. Ask yourself if this is HELPFUL or just noise?
If you are unhappy about something your partner did or didn’t do, instead of criticizing or complaining, try making a request. Let them know that it would make you so happy if they would …(fill in the blank). Not only is this more respectful to you both, you now have a MUCH HIGHER likelihood that they will actually change it next time.
You may need to change your environment to help keep you from being triggered. What are the flash points that set you off? Is it the TV? Find something more pleasant to watch, or switch it off and read something more positive. Start collecting reminders of positive things to flood your neurons with good thoughts.
Make it a personal challenge to negate your negativity by the end of the year (that’s where the Nativity comes in). This can be your seasonal gift to yourself and your loved ones that will keep on giving (to Infinity and Beyond!).
When YOU are less negative, everyone in your periphery will be too and the ripples in the pond will be endless.
Enjoy the coming months with your new Way of Being,