What is it about Holidays that makes anything
unfortunate in someone's life seem so much
worse? People give more to charities at Holidays
because for some reason, being homeless,
hungry or sick seems that much worse at this
time of year.
At some level, it does seem worse because if you
are in a geographic location that is Dark, it can
seriously affect your biology. But apart from that,
is there really a Worse time to get sick, lose your
job or home, or to have your spouse leave you?
I used to blame my spouse for leaving me right
before Christmas but with time and distance and
wisdom, I realize heartbreak is heartbreak and it
wasn't any worse than any other time of year,
other than I told myself that. (And I got to be a
big victim – Yuck!)
WE give events the meaning they have for us!
That is why they are special to us and not to others.
Some people love solstices, or Halloween, or
Homecoming, or Birthdays and others are
completely indifferent about them.
My Father seems to detest Christmas (PTS from
WWII spent in a foxhole with other kids whose
prayers for life were not seemingly answered),
his sister loved it (she loved to shop and give gifts
all year), my Mother dreaded it I think (her favorite
day of the year is the day AFTER and her favorite
Christmas was the one she stayed home alone with
the flu in quiet contemplation with the Lord)
My sister and I love Birthdays, my brothers ignore
or are indifferent to them. and my Beloved seems
to like ALL Holidays and Birthdays and any
opportunity to party and be with his family.
Each of us has a different meaning we give them
based on what we tell ourselves about them. I like
Birthdays because it is an opportunity to celebrate
someone just for their existence AND that can be
done any (or every) day of the year.
When I met Mike he introduced me to the concept
"Make Every Day Earth Day" and I liked that
sentiment (and live it) so much I adopted it for
relationships... "Make Every Day Valentin's Day"
and I think it translates well to the meanings we
give our Holidays.
When we make every day Holy, and we treat each
other as if they matter and we share our love and
acceptance freely, we can let go of the idea that any
particular day on a calendar has be to worse than
any other day for life to happen on. And when we
make every day Holy, with love in our hearts,
nothing can be as bad as it is it when we don't.
If you think making every day a Holiday will take
the specialness out of any given day, you haven't
tried it. I just spent this morning in bed reading
fiction and it was spectacular. It isn't what you DO,
but the attitude and meaning you bring to it.
Just try it, starting now. Think of THIS DAY, TODAY
as a special day worthy of your love and presence.
Then Enjoy the sh*t out of it, meaning look for
every opportunity to Bless yourself and the World.
Happy Being Alive Today!
and recovering your Love Life, contact me for
a complimentary "Bridge Over Troubled
Waters" coaching session by emailing to
ninapottercoach(at)gmail.com or you can
schedule it here: